Having someone in your life who has strong narcissistic traits can drain you in subtle and profound ways. You might catch yourself second-guessing your own memory, apologizing for things you didn’t do, or feeling like no matter how much you give, it never lands. It’s destabilizing.
In these dynamics, self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a form of protection. And while the world often reduces “self-care” to skincare routines and candles, the kind of self-care that matters here is deeper. It’s the kind that keeps you tethered to your own truth, protects your mental health, and preserves the parts of you that someone else has tried to bend or erase.
Real self-care in this context is an act of resistance. It’s not about perfection or performance. It’s about reclaiming your voice and treating yourself like someone worth safeguarding.
🌿 How Narcissistic Traits Can Show Up
If you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing “counts,” here are some common ways narcissistic traits can appear in relationships:
- A strong need for control or admiration
- Difficulty showing empathy for your feelings
- Blaming or shaming you when things go wrong
- Using gaslighting (making you question your memory or reality)
- Withdrawing affection as punishment
- Turning situations so they become about them
These patterns can slowly wear down your sense of self, which is why intentional, protective self-care becomes so important.
1. Anchor Yourself in Reality
Narcissistic behaviour can warp your sense of what’s real. Grounding yourself becomes essential.
- Keep a journal where you record events and emotions without editing.
- Create a list of truths you can return to: "My feelings are valid. I am allowed to set boundaries."
- Stay connected with people who reflect reality back to you with care.
These anchors don’t change the narcissist. They keep you from losing yourself in the fog.
2. Protect Your Energy with Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t punitive — they’re protective.
- Decide ahead of time what topics, tones, and behaviours you won’t engage with.
- Use simple, steady phrases: "I’m not available for this conversation right now."
- Keep boundaries consistent. Quiet and firm is still powerful.
Boundaries give shape to your safety.
3. Build a Support Ecosystem
Narcissistic relationships often thrive on isolation. Reconnection softens that grip.
- Maintain regular contact with at least one or two trusted people.
- Join a support group (online or in person) where others understand these dynamics.
- Work with a therapist who understands trauma, attachment wounds, and relational abuse.
Your support system is part of your nervous system — tend to both.
4. Choose Your Engagement Level Intentionally
Not every moment deserves your energy.
Ask yourself:
- If I engage, will this feel stabilizing or draining?
- Am I protecting my dignity, or am I trying to get them to see my perspective?
Disengaging isn’t losing. It’s conserving your strength.
5. Nurture the Parts of You They Don’t See
Narcissistic dynamics often make you shrink to stay safe. Self-care is the slow, steady process of expanding again.
- Do something that lights you up — creative, gentle, or purely for pleasure.
- Spend time with people who appreciate who you are.
- Revisit interests you’ve put away to keep the peace.
Those parts of you deserve sunlight.
6. Release the Fantasy of Changing Them
This is one of the hardest, most liberating pieces.
Trying to explain yourself "better," love them harder, or change yourself to avoid conflict won’t shift a narcissistic pattern.
Self-care is the reminder: You didn’t cause this, and you can't cure it.
Your power lies in how you care for yourself — not in how you fix them.
7. Treat Yourself Like Someone Worth Protecting
Self-compassion doesn’t excuse harm. It interrupts the cycle of turning that harm inward.
When the inner critic starts echoing their voice, respond with:
- "I'm doing the best I can in a hard situation."
- "It's okay for me to take up space."
- "I am worthy of respect and care."
This is how you rebuild safety from the inside out.
Final Thought
Being in a narcissistic relationship can take more from you than you realize. This kind of self-care isn’t indulgent — it's necessary. Every time you set a boundary, stay grounded in your truth, or offer yourself kindness, you reclaim a piece of yourself.
You deserve to feel safe in your own mind and body — and to live in a reality where your voice matters.
A Note from Sahana Wellness
If you’re navigating any of this and feeling worn down, confused, or unsure where to start, you don’t have to sort it out alone. At Sahana Wellness, our counsellors offer compassionate, trauma-informed support for people recovering from narcissistic dynamics, emotional abuse, and chronic invalidation. We help you rebuild your sense of safety, reconnect with your voice, and understand your boundaries without judgment.
Whether you’re processing what’s happening now or healing from what’s lingered for years, we’re here when you’re ready. You deserve care that feels steady, kind, and rooted in your truth.
— The Sahana Wellness Team
